My Sensitive Life
The long road leading to this revelation was as far away from easy as it gets. I would be lying if I claimed that immediately after learning of my sensitivities my life got easier and in any way- better. I've been symptomatic for at least the past six years of my life. I have found that the time I've spent eliminating foods and food chemicals over the past few months has in many ways been more of a challenge than living my prior symptomatic lifestyle. Why? Because being sick was all I knew for the longest time. I couldn't remember what life was like without feeling like I was dying from the inside out anytime I ate something. I couldn't remember what life was like when I was energized and felt good about myself. It felt normal to feel sick, as it does for anyone who unknowingly lives with sensitivities. However, I should make this clear- now that I know what it feels like to be well, I wouldn't have it any other way.
After exploring the conventional medicine route, I can say it just doesn't work for me. I have learned that medication only masks symptoms, or puts symptoms into remission. Medication does not treat the root cause of sensitivities. Some medications also put you at risk for additional health problems- and who has time for that? After countless tests, procedures, prescription medications, and zero concrete answers later, I found myself more frustrated with my health than ever before. It wasn't until my gastroenterologist aggressively suggested putting me on steroids that I truly realized what I needed to do: run in the other fucking direction. And so, I began seeing nutritionist whose values concerning health align with mine.
After exploring the conventional medicine route, I can say it just doesn't work for me. I have learned that medication only masks symptoms, or puts symptoms into remission. Medication does not treat the root cause of sensitivities. Some medications also put you at risk for additional health problems- and who has time for that? After countless tests, procedures, prescription medications, and zero concrete answers later, I found myself more frustrated with my health than ever before. It wasn't until my gastroenterologist aggressively suggested putting me on steroids that I truly realized what I needed to do: run in the other fucking direction. And so, I began seeing nutritionist whose values concerning health align with mine.
The biggest challenge...
Initially, we eliminated gluten and dairy products. I found this to be difficult. I laugh now, because I had no idea what would be in store- the biggest challenge was yet to come. I agreed to do LEAP MRT food sensitivity testing. While my results didn't shock me entirely, my nutritionist explained that in all her years of doing this work, she has never seen a case like mine. This made me feel special.
My sensitivities were as follows:
Blue= moderately reactive Purple= FML, so reactive.
Chemical sensitivities: benzoic acid, candida albicans, tyramine, capsaicin, sodium metabisulfite, solanine, potassium nitrate, fructose, polysorbate 80, lecithin, salicylic acid, MSG
Dairy sensitivities: American cheese, Cheddar cheese
Flavor enhancer sensitivities: dill, garlic, black pepper, carob, sesame, cane sugar
Fruit sensitivities: cranberry, apricot, grape, grapefruit
Veggie sensitivities: lettuce, yellow squash, mushroom, peppers, tomato
Grain sensitivities: corn, amaranth, oat, wheat
Seafood sensitivities: clam, tilapia, shrimp
Bean/nut/legumes sensitivities: peanut, garbanzo bean, lentil
Misc. sensitivities: bakers yeast, tapioca
....Okay, now let's talk about those food chemicals. To my surprise, all the food chemicals tested are not just used as preservatives. These little bastards appear NATURALLY in some of the foods I tested non-reactive to. So, I could add cinnamon, paprika, cocoa, raspberry, strawberry, orange, avocado, spinach, eggplant, white potato, cucumber, beet, and tea to the list of foods that were considered, "reactive." As I was the most sensitive to sugar and also sensitive to yeast, I could no longer have other items I tested non-reactive to such as cola, hops, maple, honey, coffee, and mustard. Thank God I wasn't a coffee addict prior to all of this. Did I mention that these results also meant all alcoholic beverages were to be off-limits???
So what did this mean moving forward? In phase 1 of my elimination diet, all of these foods were off-limits. I referred to it as my, "no gluten, dairy, sugar, yeast, corn, and miscellaneous foods diet." People would ask me what I could eat and drink. The list was much shorter than the list of foods and drinks that I couldn't have. Rice-based foods, a select few fruits and veggies, some nuts and nut butters, olive oil, chicken, turkey, beef, pork, water, and coconut water.
I called myself, "the curve ball patient." The other curve ball to this challenge: I'm prone to getting kidney stones. I've had 5 of them, in fact. My stones are calcium oxalate stones and some of the foods I tested non-reactive to are actually high in calcium oxalate. Question of everyday: how was I supposed to have these foods in moderation when I hardly had any variety in my diet to begin with? I'll get back to you when I've found a good answer.
My sensitivities were as follows:
Blue= moderately reactive Purple= FML, so reactive.
Chemical sensitivities: benzoic acid, candida albicans, tyramine, capsaicin, sodium metabisulfite, solanine, potassium nitrate, fructose, polysorbate 80, lecithin, salicylic acid, MSG
Dairy sensitivities: American cheese, Cheddar cheese
Flavor enhancer sensitivities: dill, garlic, black pepper, carob, sesame, cane sugar
Fruit sensitivities: cranberry, apricot, grape, grapefruit
Veggie sensitivities: lettuce, yellow squash, mushroom, peppers, tomato
Grain sensitivities: corn, amaranth, oat, wheat
Seafood sensitivities: clam, tilapia, shrimp
Bean/nut/legumes sensitivities: peanut, garbanzo bean, lentil
Misc. sensitivities: bakers yeast, tapioca
....Okay, now let's talk about those food chemicals. To my surprise, all the food chemicals tested are not just used as preservatives. These little bastards appear NATURALLY in some of the foods I tested non-reactive to. So, I could add cinnamon, paprika, cocoa, raspberry, strawberry, orange, avocado, spinach, eggplant, white potato, cucumber, beet, and tea to the list of foods that were considered, "reactive." As I was the most sensitive to sugar and also sensitive to yeast, I could no longer have other items I tested non-reactive to such as cola, hops, maple, honey, coffee, and mustard. Thank God I wasn't a coffee addict prior to all of this. Did I mention that these results also meant all alcoholic beverages were to be off-limits???
So what did this mean moving forward? In phase 1 of my elimination diet, all of these foods were off-limits. I referred to it as my, "no gluten, dairy, sugar, yeast, corn, and miscellaneous foods diet." People would ask me what I could eat and drink. The list was much shorter than the list of foods and drinks that I couldn't have. Rice-based foods, a select few fruits and veggies, some nuts and nut butters, olive oil, chicken, turkey, beef, pork, water, and coconut water.
I called myself, "the curve ball patient." The other curve ball to this challenge: I'm prone to getting kidney stones. I've had 5 of them, in fact. My stones are calcium oxalate stones and some of the foods I tested non-reactive to are actually high in calcium oxalate. Question of everyday: how was I supposed to have these foods in moderation when I hardly had any variety in my diet to begin with? I'll get back to you when I've found a good answer.
elimination time...
There was no easy way to ease into this elimination. It just had to happen. After all these years of living with so many sensitivities I acquired what they call leaky gut, which unfortunately, is exactly what it sounds like. The lining of my intestinal walls became porous and so, undigested food and all kinds of bad toxins were seeping into my bloodstream.
Most absorption occurs in the small intestine. The walls of the small intestine are covered with Villi, hair-like protrusions that have a very important job. We absorb all useful nutrients through the Villi, which are then passed into the blood stream. Anything that is not useful continues on (or it should at least) to the large intestine. However, with food and food chemical sensitivities, the Villi become damaged, brittle, and weak overtime. What results here is an absorption issue (as many of my Celiac followers understand) - the inability to absorb nutrients from the food we are eating (Reasoner, Leaky Gut Syndrome in Plain English- And How To Fix it). Why am I telling you this? Well for one, I have learned so much and I want to share this exciting knowledge with anyone who will listen. Secondly, if I didn't understand this, I wouldn't understand why it was necessary to eliminate so many of the foods that I loved from my diet. Elimination meant allowing my body to heal. By eliminating reactive foods, a person with sensitivities is choosing to embark on a love/hate journey of gut healing.
While eliminating all of these foods may or may not sound difficult to some, I'm just going to tell you that it was. My diet had to be 100% organic, non-GMO, and could not contain processed foods/foods with preservatives. While following the LEAP MRT diet, I also couldn't eat any foods that were not tested by the LEAP MRT test. There was no room for cheating. I found this out when my nutritionist read my food journal. She asked me why I had scallions in my scrambled eggs and like a fool I argued, "well, I can have onions and scallions are in the onion family." The thing is, scallions are not onions, nor were they tested. So, strike 1 for me. Little "oopsies" happened every now and then. For example: I had been eating the same sunflower butter and almond butter that I was eating before I received my MRT results. One day I decided to look at the ingredients on both jars. Dammit- evaporated cane sugar juice. Here I was thinking I was completely sugar free for the first few weeks of my elimination diet, and as it turned out, I technically wasn't. After a few huffs, puffs, and "reallyyyyyys??" I got over this minor oversight. Since the beginning of this health journey, my life has consisted of a lot of label reading- something I think we would all benefit from if we took the time to peek.
Check out my blog for more about label reading as it pertains to cosmetics, personal care products, household cleaning products, etc!
Most absorption occurs in the small intestine. The walls of the small intestine are covered with Villi, hair-like protrusions that have a very important job. We absorb all useful nutrients through the Villi, which are then passed into the blood stream. Anything that is not useful continues on (or it should at least) to the large intestine. However, with food and food chemical sensitivities, the Villi become damaged, brittle, and weak overtime. What results here is an absorption issue (as many of my Celiac followers understand) - the inability to absorb nutrients from the food we are eating (Reasoner, Leaky Gut Syndrome in Plain English- And How To Fix it). Why am I telling you this? Well for one, I have learned so much and I want to share this exciting knowledge with anyone who will listen. Secondly, if I didn't understand this, I wouldn't understand why it was necessary to eliminate so many of the foods that I loved from my diet. Elimination meant allowing my body to heal. By eliminating reactive foods, a person with sensitivities is choosing to embark on a love/hate journey of gut healing.
While eliminating all of these foods may or may not sound difficult to some, I'm just going to tell you that it was. My diet had to be 100% organic, non-GMO, and could not contain processed foods/foods with preservatives. While following the LEAP MRT diet, I also couldn't eat any foods that were not tested by the LEAP MRT test. There was no room for cheating. I found this out when my nutritionist read my food journal. She asked me why I had scallions in my scrambled eggs and like a fool I argued, "well, I can have onions and scallions are in the onion family." The thing is, scallions are not onions, nor were they tested. So, strike 1 for me. Little "oopsies" happened every now and then. For example: I had been eating the same sunflower butter and almond butter that I was eating before I received my MRT results. One day I decided to look at the ingredients on both jars. Dammit- evaporated cane sugar juice. Here I was thinking I was completely sugar free for the first few weeks of my elimination diet, and as it turned out, I technically wasn't. After a few huffs, puffs, and "reallyyyyyys??" I got over this minor oversight. Since the beginning of this health journey, my life has consisted of a lot of label reading- something I think we would all benefit from if we took the time to peek.
Check out my blog for more about label reading as it pertains to cosmetics, personal care products, household cleaning products, etc!
Phase 1...
I began phase 1 during the third week of March. For the first 3 weeks of phase 1, I experienced awful withdrawals. The most noticeable symptoms to those around me were the hypoglycemia symptoms. I would shake as if I had just funneled 15 cups of coffee in record breaking time. While that may be a slight exaggeration, it was noticeable and embarrassing nonetheless. Standing up after sitting down was always a production, too. I would have to brace myself for the dizzy spells and black blanket of stars that would blur my vision to a point where I couldn't see for a solid 5 seconds. Other symptoms included dull headaches, depression, brain fog, difficulty with expressive language, ringing in my ears, constant hunger, extreme tiredness and weakness, and I was honestly ready to go to bed by 5PM.
Eventually the withdrawals subsided and I began to forget what "sick" felt like. My insides didn't hurt, I was sleeping better at night, and I began to notice a boost in my energy. I also began taking a supplement, L-Glutamine. I highly recommend it for anyone. Check out the various benefits L-Glutamine has to offer HERE. Once I was physically feeling better, all I wanted to do was get out and enjoy the beautiful weather that spring brought with it. It was at this point that I came to the next hurdle on my journey: accepting my situation.
What do I mean by situation? Well, at the time I was unable to go out and enjoy food at any food establishment because I was not in control of where it came from, what it came in contact with, what it was made with, or who was preparing it. All my food was made at home. This made it difficult to have a social life during the first few months of my elimination diet. I was unable to participate in social drinking and party-having, which is something people in their early 20s enjoy being able to do. I was also unable to go out for long periods of time without backup fuel on hand, as I needed to be stabilizing my blood sugar every three hours. It was very difficult, isolating, and made me positively infuriated at times. Under these circumstances, it took a lot of effort to keep my emotions in check. After all, the mind-body connection is tremendously powerful.
It's extremely important to recognize the power of the mind-body connection. Mental and emotional stress are directly related to physical stress- including being symptomatic. During this process of elimination and reintroduction we do not want to be symptomatic. My answer to quieting the mental and emotional stresses of life: yoga, yoga, yoga, and other exercise. If you asked me what my answer would be in the months prior to learning of my sensitivities, I naturally would have said: WINE. Unfortunately, wine was off the table for a solid 5 months. Even though I have since reintroduced wine, I still turn to a good workout when I need to shake off some stress.
Eventually the withdrawals subsided and I began to forget what "sick" felt like. My insides didn't hurt, I was sleeping better at night, and I began to notice a boost in my energy. I also began taking a supplement, L-Glutamine. I highly recommend it for anyone. Check out the various benefits L-Glutamine has to offer HERE. Once I was physically feeling better, all I wanted to do was get out and enjoy the beautiful weather that spring brought with it. It was at this point that I came to the next hurdle on my journey: accepting my situation.
What do I mean by situation? Well, at the time I was unable to go out and enjoy food at any food establishment because I was not in control of where it came from, what it came in contact with, what it was made with, or who was preparing it. All my food was made at home. This made it difficult to have a social life during the first few months of my elimination diet. I was unable to participate in social drinking and party-having, which is something people in their early 20s enjoy being able to do. I was also unable to go out for long periods of time without backup fuel on hand, as I needed to be stabilizing my blood sugar every three hours. It was very difficult, isolating, and made me positively infuriated at times. Under these circumstances, it took a lot of effort to keep my emotions in check. After all, the mind-body connection is tremendously powerful.
It's extremely important to recognize the power of the mind-body connection. Mental and emotional stress are directly related to physical stress- including being symptomatic. During this process of elimination and reintroduction we do not want to be symptomatic. My answer to quieting the mental and emotional stresses of life: yoga, yoga, yoga, and other exercise. If you asked me what my answer would be in the months prior to learning of my sensitivities, I naturally would have said: WINE. Unfortunately, wine was off the table for a solid 5 months. Even though I have since reintroduced wine, I still turn to a good workout when I need to shake off some stress.
arrivederci! sensitively Stepping out into the world
As I continue on my love/hate journey of gut healing, life outside of being absurdly sensitive still goes on. Back in February I made the most exciting decision to book a trip to my soul's home: Italy. You can imagine (especially if you're Italian too) that this diet went against absolutely everything that any Italian would ever dream of doing. It was a true Italian nightmare. My Grandmother was completely up in arms about my situation, let me tell you.
From the moment I began my diet in March, the anxiety started: "What the hell am I going to do when I'm in Italy?!" Wheat, tomato, garlic, peppers, mushrooms, vinegar, cheese, sugar (GELATO), WINEEEE- I was sensitive to it all- and more, as we know.
Life always goes on, though. I left for Italy on July 1st and returned home on July 12th. It was the best two weeks of my life and the experience has changed me for the better. It has changed my outlook on life, my relationships, my place in this world, and where I'm heading at this point in my evolution as a sensitive, strong individual. Seeing the world through new eyes in such a beautiful place really did ignite a passion in my heart that just wasn't there before. I'm a very passionate person with or without this traveling experience, but Italy has potentially changed my life path- thrown me a curveball. I'm so excited for what's to come and tremendously thankful that I was able to give myself this beautiful gift. View my Traveling with Sensitivities blog to read about my experiences in Italy- the food, sights, people, memories, everything!
From the moment I began my diet in March, the anxiety started: "What the hell am I going to do when I'm in Italy?!" Wheat, tomato, garlic, peppers, mushrooms, vinegar, cheese, sugar (GELATO), WINEEEE- I was sensitive to it all- and more, as we know.
Life always goes on, though. I left for Italy on July 1st and returned home on July 12th. It was the best two weeks of my life and the experience has changed me for the better. It has changed my outlook on life, my relationships, my place in this world, and where I'm heading at this point in my evolution as a sensitive, strong individual. Seeing the world through new eyes in such a beautiful place really did ignite a passion in my heart that just wasn't there before. I'm a very passionate person with or without this traveling experience, but Italy has potentially changed my life path- thrown me a curveball. I'm so excited for what's to come and tremendously thankful that I was able to give myself this beautiful gift. View my Traveling with Sensitivities blog to read about my experiences in Italy- the food, sights, people, memories, everything!
I no longer follow the LEAP MRT diet, but I continue to choose organic, non-GMO foods and avoid gluten and refined sugars. I stuck with MRT from March until December. During this time, there were ups and downs. My sensitivities changed, as I had eliminated so much from my diet and only had a handful of foods I was able to eat. Without much variety in my diet, I began to grow extremely sensitive to the foods I could eat, as I was eating the same foods all the time. I had my sensitivities retested and was unsurprised to find that my results were more restrictive than ever before. The only foods that were "sustaining" in my diet became highly and moderately-reactive foods: rice, turkey, chicken, sunflower seeds, yogurt, sweet and white potatoes, olive (olive oil), and more. It was at this point that I realized eliminating even more from my diet would be counterproductive. I was not getting enough nutrition from my diet, I wasn't feeling well, and it began taking a toll on my mental/emotional health- much different from before. As I slowly begin reintroducing untested foods that I haven't had in several months and eat my reactive foods in moderation, I am working on finding a comfortable, happy medium. I'm feeling better now that I have more variety in my diet- and who wouldn't? My health journey seems to be ever-changing, but it's a battle worth fighting. Health is happiness. Health is life. Health is self-love. Choose it!
strength.
I have created this site and shared my story with the hope that there will be many who can relate to my sensitive life and find some comfort in knowing that they are not alone. As I have already experienced, there will be some bumps in the road on this journey. It is so important for me to see my strength and resilience in all of this, though. I've held strong even on my bad days. Is it worth it? My response to you today is yes- I feel physically fit and healthy, my mind is clear, I've chosen health and in essence, I've chosen life. For anyone on a similar journey- just like you, I am human. So if you ask me if it's worth it on any other day, I might say "NO" and pout. It's okay to say no and pout- as long as you have at least the same number of days when you can say- "yes, it's worth it. I am strong." For as long as you're here, see your strength and your resilience in whatever battle(s) you are fighting- no matter how big, or how small. Your attitude determines the outcome.
Work Cited
Reasoner, Jordan. "Leaky Gut Syndrome In Plain English – And How To Fix It." SCD Lifestyle. N.p., n.d. Web. 12 May 2013. <http://scdlifestyle.com/2010/03/the-scd-diet-and-leaky-gut-syndrome/>.
Reasoner, Jordan. "Leaky Gut Syndrome In Plain English – And How To Fix It." SCD Lifestyle. N.p., n.d. Web. 12 May 2013. <http://scdlifestyle.com/2010/03/the-scd-diet-and-leaky-gut-syndrome/>.